One of the Crowd

Friday, June 14, 2013

Sometimes I feel pretty small.  I'm walking along, secure and happy with who I am and my part in the world.  Then, rocks on the path trip up the happy jaunt.  You know what I mean, what those rocks are -- they're the thoughts like "I'm insignificant" or "I'm never going to be enough."  Those thoughts are awful.

Election night crowd, Wellington, 

I think about the billions of people this globe holds and compare that with the small number of lives mine affects.  I look at how someone is more accomplished (yes, I live in the 21st century and still refer to people as 'being accomplished'), prettier, smarter, or a better writer than me (that last one has been a big rock since resuming this blog - I'm more often reminded that there are a lot of writers out there who are better than me.  Wait, why I'm telling you that?)

So, anyway...

Last night, B and I were reading Jesus the Christ about what happens prior to the miracle of Jesus feeding the multitude with five loaves and two fishes.  

The book talks about how Jesus and his twelve apostles, after a long while of ministering and preaching, went to find secluded rest in a rural area outside of town.  However, the thousands who followed Jesus because of His miracles and teachings saw where they were going and tagged along.  After a short rest, Jesus and the twelve saw the multitude approaching.  

Reading about those masses, I saw myself as one of them and thought "Great, even to Jesus, I'm just a number.  One of thousands (really millions) of followers who asks for His help while He's trying to talk with the VIPs who do the important stuff.  I think I serve in important ways, but really I'm just one of the common people, the hoi polloi, the great unwashed, the rank and file."  You get the idea.

But reading more gave me relief:
"As the multitude gathered on the lower slopes, our Lord looked upon them as upon sheep without a shepherd; and, yielding to their desire and to His own emotions of divine pity [Mark 6:34 says He was "moved with compassion"], He taught them many things, healed their afflicted ones, and comforted their hearts with compassionate tenderness." Jesus the Christ, Talmage, p. 333

He cared about each one of those people.  Not only did He teach all of them, but He healed and comforted them as individuals.

That's what they wanted.  To hear universal truth and to feel personally loved. That's why they stayed in the wilderness for hours to the point where feeding them needed to be addressed.  They followed Him, and He was able to take care of their spiritual and physical needs so that "they did all eat, and were filled."(Mark 6:42)

I am one of very many and that's actually a positive thing.  I'm also me - God our Father and His Son Jesus Christ know and love me as an individual.  My worth does not boom or bust based off of how much better or worse I am than others or by how much people like me or by the money I make or what I accomplish.  I'm not a stock that's bought when it's the new, best thing around and sold when others companies look stronger or more promising.  

My worth is a constant. So is yours.

Thank goodness.

"They did all eat, and were filled."(Mark 6:42)


  1. Thank goodness is right. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. "They did all eat, and were filled." (Mark 6:42) I used to think it meant
    that after they had eaten of the loaves and fishes, they were filled,
    as in, had enough to eat and/or their hunger was satisfied. But after studying 3 Nephi 18:4-9; 19:13, I have come to feel that it means more than just being physically
    fed, but spiritually fed, as well, filled with the Spirit, love of God,
    etc. We are not "filled" with food when we partake of the Sacrament,
    but hopefully, we are filled with the Spirit. Now I'm sure that the
    multitudes had their hunger satisfied, in other words, they most likely
    ate more than a small morsel of bread and thimble full cup of water, but
    again, more importantly than having their hunger satisfied, their
    spirits were fed, just as ours are when we contemplate the birth, life,
    miracles and the Atonement of Jesus. That may not be a "aha" moment for
    many, but for me it is significant.

  3. I hadn't connected those scriptures with this miracle before but it makes perfect sense. An 'aha moment' for me too. Thank you so much for sharing that insight!


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